I would like you to meet Clifford, my primary cat. He is the absurd and fabulous king of our household. He is the greatest. He is legendary. He is a big fat awesome hilarious tom-dude, with a purr like an incoming helicopter. Everybody loves Clifford, and Clifford loves everybody. He is also a murderer. He likes to eat birds.

I have two other cats, also, who live under the Kingdom of Clifford. They are also delightful and wonderful creatures whom I adore with all my heart. They also love to murder.

We live in the country, so these guys often go outdoors, where they enjoy going on killing sprees together, practicing their genocidal ways among innocent songbirds, and then spreading the crime scene all over our house.


Because recently a very nice woman in Vermont, who heard that I have cats, sent me this product — these ridiculous-looking brightly-colored Elizabethan clown collar thingies, which she swore, if I put them on my cats, would stop the cats from killing birds. (She didn't mention that dressing my cat like this would also make both me and the cats look crazy, but that's just a harmless side-effect.) Because I have no shame, I put the goofy collars on my cats, and THE CARNAGE HAS ABSOLUTELY STOPPED.


Here's why: Birds see that warning flash of color, and then they beat it! Works way better than bells, which do not work (in my experience). There are no more crime scenes on our kitchen floor every morning, and the birds in our neighborhood can safely go about their lives. Also, the cats look insane, as you can see by this portrait of Clifford, which is entertaining.

It is springtime, people. The birds are making babies. They deserve a chance to survive. Thus, I am officially endorsing this product, for no reason at all except that I love birds and cats, both, and I want us all to live in peace.

The product is called birdsbesafe, and it's a good homespun small business run by a very nice woman. Here's the link:

Dress up your cats! Save your local birds! It's awesome!

Thus concludes my completely independent and unsolicited product placement of the day!

Clifford says hello.

Peace on earth,

via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall